thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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