just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I could have mohawked her pubes.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
