Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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