I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
