Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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