she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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