Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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