im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
