the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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