have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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