you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
