Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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