It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
