I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
