i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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