I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
