Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
