I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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