Fine. I'll sleep in my office
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Mom said you looked used
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
