it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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