grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
