Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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