and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
