I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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