Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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