I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
