do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
