So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
