...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
