i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
