I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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