4 words: hood of his car
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
