if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
