I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize