So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
