It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
