Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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