Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
