I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Every concussion has its silver lining
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
