What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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