she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
