I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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