Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
