girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
