She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
