like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
