Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
