ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
