Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Come on in and take your pants off
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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