i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
