he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
