Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
