I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I love having hate sex.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
