can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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