I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
